Years ago, a friend of mine was going through a tough time in her marriage and, because - I LOVE to help people out, I was offering to give her some advice...
I'm divorced,....so a fellow 'divorcee' said to me -
'I don't feel I'm in ANY position to give people advice on marriage'
and I replied....
"Quite the contrary - I have learnt SO much from my failed marriage, I'm happy to share with people what I have learnt IF it helps them"
Who says because you've failed at something you are in no position to help others.
By the same token, a facebook friend posted the other day
Never Take Advice from An Unhappy Person
Once again I don't agree.
What Can I learn from this - Single Parents
If that Unhappy Person - even a divorced person can help you by sharing with you
'the mistakes they made' aka 'The lessons They learnt' then why not?
They are unhappy, possibly because they are not seeing the lessons they have learnt....
What Can I Learn from This - Single Parents
There is Always something to learn from something you go through.
Everything Happens for a Reason....
For me, yes I spent 13 years with my children's father and for many of those years, he was delightful
he was funny
he was loving
he was a great dad
he was there for me when I needed him
he supported me when I was a mum at home
He gave me two beautiful children...
it's the Positive Little Things like this we have to remember..not the rows and the money wrangles and yes, there are the RARE couple who 'apparently' have a 'harmonious' split, but believe me those are few and far between.
So my point here is Everything Happens for a Reason...and then today I saw this fantastic article 12 Reasons Why You Should Never Regret Any Decision
So what did I learn from my marriage break up?
To treat people as you would like to be treated,
And No I confess - I didn't always treat my husband as I would like to be treated...
The Grass is Greener on the Other side
No it isn't....Any 'Night In Shining Armour' that comes along - hes going to have his 'foibles' too, we ALL have them...and once the 'shine' has worn off, you will find 'faul't with him too...
Relationships take Work, if its not working - Do Everything you can to fix it before you go and Yes we did - counselling etc..the works...but personally for me...it was too late.
What I went through in those 13 years, has made me the person I am today, which is
Strong, Caring, Warm, Caring....and Yes Im ALLOWED to blow my own trumpet (I never said I was perfect, I just 'focuss on my strengths!! )
I have said to my Ex 'Im sorry' - because I NEEDED to do that...doesn't matter what his response is - I've made my peace with myself....and him...
So guys, if you've been through 'divorce/failed relationship' just pick yourself up, make peace with your ex, because if you have children, they are FOREVER going to be in your life - yes even when your 'children' are ADULTS..your ex is still going to be there....parties/wedding/births..so the sooner you realise that you NEED to get on, be FRIENDS even (yes I hear you 'god forbid' the better:)!
and finally -
We have to work on ourselves, learn to love ourselves FIRST before you go 'searching for someone to make us feel whole'...because we have to feel 'whole' in ourselves before we can start another relationship.
how do we work on ourselves...? By Loving ourselves....finding out what makes 'me tick'
what do I love?
what makes ME feel special?
How can I love MYSELF?
its only when we can LOVE OURSELVES, then we Attract that wonderful partner to us, who is more likely to love us and we will no longer be SEARCHING for that person to 'make us whole' .
So - did this post resonate with you?
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